UKFA Press Releases - Primary Group Stage, Match 1 of 6
A Report from AFC DMCD's FABad Start for DMCDPatrick Oshea was furious at his team after their heavy loss to Cowardly Wanderers. "This simply isnt good enough, many of my players where simply lazy and didnt take the oppertunities given to them. Playing like that will not get us anywhere" said Oshea. It is true that AFC DMCDs performance was less than inspiring with shoddy defending and a lackluster attack. Many DMCD players are however out injured but responding to this Oshea said, " That is not an excuse, we played badly and we lost badly and that is that". He added " We have now got to regroup and get back to winning ways. Many players will be back for the next match and hopefully they will inspire the rest. They will be getting a kick up the arse at training and i expect better. I suspect the fans do aswell"
A Report from Cowardly Wanderers' FACowardly Wandererss club spokesmen reported last night that an overjoyed Cowardly team was soundly enjoying themselves, after a surprise win at fellow Division One side DCMD.
"We were expecting a close match", he explained, "having only recently joined DCMD's Division, which they led for a while, we expected to come away with a narrow result. What we got was a dream one."
The opening fifteen minutes were hotly contested, with end-to-end football and chances for both teams. Sergei Mashov then opened the scoring, starting the new season as he ended the last, with a sensational volley from the edge of the area. DCMD continued to press, but were obviously missing key players as they failed to capitalise on a number of opportunities, and the score at half time was 1-0 to the Wanderers.
The second half began, and within five minutes Ivan Campov benefited from some poor defence, pouncing on the defender's reluctance to clear a long ball and coming out on top in the one-on-one with the keeper.
AFC DCMD never really recovered, and it the Wanderers will rue a string of missed chances, before Kirov made it three just before full time. Now joint top of their group, perhaps these chances will tell in the goal difference, but that won't spoil the mood here in Silent Grove, not yet at least...
A Report from Racing Club de Betelgeuse XII's FARacing Club Not At the RacesRacing Club's goalkeeper Agrajag takes one for the teamOverall second seeds Racing Club de Betelgeuse XII's UKFA Cup campaign got off to a disasterous start after the one-time league Champions crashed to a 2-1 defeat at the hands of Group G bottom seeds Carops Pontanores.
The biggest cheer of the night came for the winner of a crate of GMPV™ in the half-time raffle as bemused home fans watched their side surrender their unbeaten home record in the UKFA Cup.
Racing Club manager CAT5 was equally rather nonplussed, but he refused to criticise his players. "I would rather start slowly and build to a peak in the knockout stages" said CAT5, with a hint of a Gallic shrug, or at least the feline equivalent.
"Admittedly, the current champions Joolsdom Forest started strongly and maintained that form through to the final against us last year. But the UKFA Cup format has been expanded for this year. It is not the same competition.
"We are aiming simply to qualify for the UKFA Cup A groups at this stage. Of course, having to play off for the Shield would be a disaster for this club, but I have no fear that this will happen.
"Once we reach the knockout stages of the Cup - and we will reach them - our players will feel more able to express themselves, and the performances will come. Our fans know this. We are all looking forward to seeing our boys produce the creative attacking football we all know and love. Alors monsieur, je me casse."
CAT5 and Betelgeuse XII alike will be hoping to at least see an improvement in their next group game against Flatisia Flatheads of UROCA.
A Report from Brightonburg United's FA" Hello this is Capt. Erica Stone IBNN news, with the news flash
Press release from Coach Miller-White!
" Greetings, I bring good news we have won our first match, Brightonburg United 4-1 Hekloslogravia Manatees, this is a good beginnin for Brightonburg United Football, and our own regional soccer league.
I hope that we keep to our balaced style of play,and the football keeps bouncing our way, we train hard tis true, but sometimes, one just gets a few bounces,and win.
Our goal keeper, did his part keeping the balls out,and our defence did not lapse, I hope we keep up this level of play."
A Report from Shawdom International's FASHAWDOM PRESS ANOUNCEMENT: « 20070314 100625 UCT »
Today the fate of the shawdom manager Dr Mephisto has been decided. Shawdom had a very poor league campagin and a thumping at home 5-1 looked to be the final straw. Fans protested through the night and with a big season and a big cup people thought it was time for a change. How ever in a shocking decision the Shawdom FA who are famed for their high expectations said they will leave the Dr in charge until the end of the UKFA cup. Failiure on that and it will surely be the end of the Dr Mephisto era. Captain Jon Halls said. "We as a team are right behind the manager and will do everything we can to help put pride back into the Shawdom football team"
SHAWDOM PRESS ANOUNCEMENT: « 20070314 102743 UCT »
Well today after the mood in the Shawdom camp has looked to be refreshed after the manager has kept his job. They have to concentrate on the game tonight against Eintracht Kiermark. It certainly has been a massive following from the Shawdom team whose season started well and went bad hopefully a promiseing victory against Belarusy Nationals wont prove to be yet another false ray of light. There is certainly alot at stake today as the fans have taken 3,000 fans to the game and have been in party mood for this big game. One fan said "we need to win we need this cup to give our fans more hope" When asked about the manager he simply said " I dont think we can comment just yet the FA have made their decision. But then again the sacked buller and appointed this muppet so their judgement cant really be trusted.
So, big game today.
this is Tom Shaw reporting from Keirmark.
END OF RELEASE
Minor Updates from around the UKFASOME RANDOM PEOPLE UNITED
A loss in the first game has severely damaged the hopes of fans of Some Random People Utd, especially as they had been promised so much by their team and manager. Things are not looking good for the future of the team and the manager is under intense pressure to get a win in the next game. Rumours have already started circulating suggesting that if he doesn't turn the club around then he will have to find a new job.
JOOLSDOM FOREST
JFFC players and fans were in jubilant party mood long before kick-off and the party continued throughout the game and into the small hours of the following morning, with the GMPV flowing throughout. The result was a good one considering the intoxicated state everyone was in. When asked if it was a good match, the majority of fans answered "what match?".
If the badgers are going to make any headway in this contest they really must get a grip of things now.
UKFA HQ