The Londoner: a newspaper from GB&I

[sirdinglefoot]

Editor: King John of Gililand

The Londoner[/SIZE][/color][/font]

26 FEBRUARY 2008


The House of Commons has passed an Order to compel the Government to action in support of our ally Gatesville, and in spirit of our treaty obligations, in The North Pacific.

This Government refuses to do it.

This Government has sacked the First Sea Lord for admittedly purely political reasons.

This Government has narrowly avoided two Votes of No Confidence in as many days.

The Editor and the entire staff of this fine Publication hereby award the Prime Minister, Sir Dingle Foot, with the White Feather.



Congratulations Sir...You have earned it.

[sirdinglefoot]

The Londoner[/SIZE][/color][/font]

Special British West Indies Edition

Cheeky Monkey: King John of Gililand is greeted by bikini-clad woman

Most women might pick a sensible twinset and pearls to meet the poshest Minister in Parliament but one Caribbean tourist opted for a bikini, much to the Gililand's amusement.



Blushing, King John of Gililand was meeting crowds on an official visit to The British West Indies when the bikini-wearing woman emerged from the crowd to give him a warm welcome.

King John of Gililand - dressed in a smart grey suit, complete with a tie and pocket handkerchief - looked visibly embarrassed by the sight of a semi-naked woman and gave the unnamed tourist a cheeky smile.

Gililand was attending a reception yesterday at the Coco Reef resort to meet subscribers to The Londoner, the most expensive magazine in world.

Instead of using a gas-guzzling private jet he is travelling by boat in order, he says, to reduce his carbon footprint.



But this is no ordinary boat. The £50million super-yacht Leander is 246ft long, 43ft wide, has a max speed of 18.5 knots and a crew of 24. Every cabin has a TV, DVD player and hi-fi system.

As Gililand travels within the British West Indies, from Trinidad to Tobago, St Lucia, Jamaica and Montserrat, he will have a crew of 24 to look after him on the vessel, which costs up to £320,000 per week to run.

"A mere pittance," King John of Gililand told reporters, "less than the annual cost of a subscription to The Londoner."