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Post by kangarawa on Dec 22, 2005 17:31:33 GMT -5
"You don't suppose anyone actually finished off any of that stuff we threw out, do you? It had all gone bad, and I certainly wouldn't want anyone sick over the holidays..."
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Post by Ness Snorlaxia on Dec 22, 2005 18:04:36 GMT -5
You threw it out?!
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Post by kangarawa on Jan 4, 2006 13:33:54 GMT -5
"Mr. Phelps?"
"Yes, Ambassador?", stretching and yawning from a curled up position on one of the couches.
"Did you have a relaxing holiday?" the Ambassador asked sweetly.
"Oh yeah...."
"Mr. Phelps, do you happen to know the date today?" (not quite as sweetly).
"Well, like, it's sometime after New Year's Eve...yeah...I'm sure it is. I was up too late...in fact I don't think I went to bed...folks around here sure are friendly...and about that dancing squirrel..."
"Mr. Phelps, it's January 4th. We were to have re-opened the Embassy January 2nd. Did you remember to reorder supplies? I see we do have a beautiful bouquet of lilies."
Sitting up and yawning, Mr. Phelps looked around smiling and said, "Fooled ya'. Everything is restocked, the Embassy opened on time, I just locked the doors before you got here to see what you'd do! Bet you were late with your weekly report, though."
The Ambassador looked at him and couldn't help grinning. "Guess I lost track of time over the holidays! Keep me on track next time, will you? You seem to have this down pat."
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Post by Pacdude on Jan 5, 2006 10:42:32 GMT -5
Huryay! *claps*
It has a good ending!
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Post by kangarawa on Jan 5, 2006 12:25:46 GMT -5
Sometimes I get lucky!
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Post by Ness Snorlaxia on Jan 5, 2006 15:59:53 GMT -5
Indeed, you do! And that's always a good thing.
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Post by kangarawa on Jan 5, 2006 20:38:31 GMT -5
My thanks, Delegate. (Bows, and trips over feet... :blush: )
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Post by kangarawa on Jan 11, 2006 14:13:51 GMT -5
"Mr. Phelps?"
"Why Ambassador, I've never seen you sit down, let alone curl up! What's wrong?"
"How do you do it? Stay on schedule, I mean. I don't know whether I had too much eggnog or what over the holidays, but to be perfectly honest, I'm having a tough time getting my act together. All I want to do is sleep!"
"Ambassador," Phelps sounded extremely concerned, "Have you seen a doctor? I don't mean to sound pushy, but this really isn't at all like you. Have you written your weekly report yet?"
"I'll get around to it sometime." With that, the Ambassador stretched out on the couch and started yawning.
"Ambassador, WAKE UP! THAT REPORT IS DUE TODAY!" Phelps lowered his voice and looked surreptitiously around the room. "And you know what the Ambassador General can be like if things aren't done properly."
The Ambassador actually giggled! "Well, maybe this time we should just tell him to do it himself!"
At this point, Phelps was absolutely outraged. "Ambassador, I don't care if you over-indulged over the holidays or not. I don't care if you feel like writing the report or not. In fact, I don't care whether you're thinking clearly or not. You hired me to ensure that things ran smoothly at the Embassy and I will not have you, the Ambassador of all people, fouling that up! Now, sit up right this minute!"
Very slowly, the Ambassador sat up, head down.
"That's better. Now you go over to your desk and start on that report and I'll fix you a nice cup of tea."
As Phelps started to walk out of the room, the Ambassador started to laugh uproariously. "As you said last week, GOTCHA! The report's already done, and you, my friend, have officially been had!"
"Hummmff. Well, you can forget your tea!"
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Post by kangarawa on Feb 1, 2006 14:08:39 GMT -5
"Good morning, Mr. Phelps. What a lovely day! What are you working on?" Phelps was hunched over the writing desk in the corner of the room, brow wrinkled in thought, chewing on a pencil. Upon hearing the Ambassador's greeting, he looked up and grinned. "Good day, Ambassador. I've decided that everyone seems to think I'm far too...serious. I do have a sense of humour you know." The Ambassador stifled a grin. "Of course you do. A very good sense of humour, Mr. Phelps. So just what exactly are you doing?" "Well, my sister sent me an email, and I'm trying to modify it a little to amuse our hosts. They've probably all seen it before, but maybe some of them haven't and will get a chuckle out of it." "You're sure you want to do this?" "Ambassador, when you're gone, everyone is always so kind. I'd like to move here." "Well, I'll leave you to it. Have fun with it!" Phelps went back to work, copying parts, and changing other parts, and putting the whole on a huge piece of bristol board that he could post just inside the Embassy doors. To Our Friends in Hyrule Just a little something to make you Laugh How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In". Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso. Finish all Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy." Don't use any punctuation As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." Sing Along At The Opera. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!" When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!" Get your parents to tell your siblings over dinner that, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity....... Get someone to move to Hyrule. It's Called Therapy...
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Post by kangarawa on Feb 16, 2006 20:27:51 GMT -5
"Ambassador, you've done it again! Your report is late! By an entire day! This is simply unacceptable."
"Mr. Phelps," replied the Ambassador, very meekly, "I actually do have a valid reason this time, and I have every intention of apologizing to the Delegate and the Nations of Hyrule."
Mr. Phelps simply tapped his foot, arms crossed and stared.
"Mr. Phelps, have you ever had the flu? I mean, the kind that keeps you in bed for four or five days wishing you were anywhere or anyone else?"
"Well...". His toe stopped tapping.
The Ambassador walked over to the Embassy doors, threw them open, and called out very loudly,
"Madame Delegate, Nations of Hyrule, I sincerely apologize for the tardiness of my weekly report. It will not happen again, I hope!"
Closing the doors, the Ambassador looked back at Mr. Phelps.
"This time I'll allow it to pass. But next time, fax me the report!"
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Post by kangarawa on Mar 2, 2006 15:31:16 GMT -5
"YOU ARE LATE AGAIN WITH YOUR REPORT!"
"I know, Mr. Phelps, and I've already apologized. Somehow I lost a day this week. I think it had something to do with dissing that poor, unsuspecting nation..." The Ambassador was obviously agitated, and pacing around the entranceway of the Embassy.
"You dissed another nation?" The look of shock on Mr. Phelps face was more than obvious.
"Well, you really needn't look at me like that. It's not as if it was intentional. It's all South Malaysia's fault, well... East Malaysia's fault if you're in the EP."
Phelps shook his head, looking more and more baffled.
"You know the role-play "War of Eternity"? the Ambassador asked.
"You forget, Ambassador, I don't get out much. I only know what I've read in your reports," Phelps replied dryly.
"Well, EM, who's really SM, has been playing the roles of both EM and WM in the role-play. You with me?"
Phelps nodded.
"Well, one night, someone named West Malaysia posted an introduction on the EP forum and said that East Malaysia had invited him to the forum. What do you think of that?"
"Just what he said. I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're so worked up about."
"Well, I didn't believe that there really was a nation named West Malaysia, particularly with the reference to East Malaysia, who's really South Malaysia, in the introduction. So I replied to his introduction and dissed him, for all the world, including him to see, thinking I was actually dissing East Malaysia...I mean South Malaysia."
Phelps started to laugh. "And..."
"There really is a West Malaysia who has absolutely nothing to do with East Malaysia...I mean South Malaysia...and here I'd dissed him in front of the entire EP! I've never felt more idiotic in my life! And poor West Malaysia!"
"So what did you do?"
"Some quick editing, and PM'd an apology while East Malaysia...I mean South Malaysia...and Gnid and Ness just laughed!"
Phelps started to walk away, adding over his shoulder, "You know Ambassador, sometimes I think you need a keeper!"
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Post by kangarawa on Mar 13, 2006 15:29:26 GMT -5
As the Ambassador walked into Mr. Phelp's office, she found him furiously punching numbers into a calculator and muttering to himself. "Mr. Phelps, are you quite alright?", she asked, a concerned look on her face. Startled, Phelps looked up, and started to flush a deep red. "It's nothing, really, Ambassador. Just something someone dropped off, and my calculator isn't working properly." Puzzled, the Ambassador asked, "May I please see what it is that you're working on? I may have another calculator upstairs in my room..." Wordlessly, Phelps handed her a piece of paper on which was written the following: 1. Grab a calculator. (You won't be able to do this one in your head) 2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code) 3. Multiply by 80 4. Add 1 5. Multiply by 250 6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number 7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again 8. Subtract 250 9. Divide number by 2 Do you recognize the answer?
"Well, maybe someone here in Hyrule can figure it out. I confess that we should both be able to do it without a calculator, but if we do, and make an error, we'll never know what we were supposed to recognize!"
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Post by Ness Snorlaxia on Mar 13, 2006 15:35:52 GMT -5
Uh, I don't have a calculadora, but I'm guessing that the answer will be the same as what you started out with.
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Post by tasmanyaya on Mar 13, 2006 19:47:16 GMT -5
I thought so too, but that's not what happened!
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Post by Ness Snorlaxia on Mar 13, 2006 19:57:33 GMT -5
Really, Tasman? I guess I have to try it out then.
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